I am giving myself a pat on the back for today. I have excercised for 5 days in a row (YAY ME!) and I have also been blogging everyday this week. I did blog yesterday but the ipad did something crazy so instead of posting my blog it saved it as a draft and I was to tired to try and find it.
Today was a so-so day for me. Mostly battling things in my head. The main thing is fear, and specifically fear of failure. It started when I put my jeans back on today and they seemed a little harder to do, not really sure why havent changed anything back, but that just put me in a tailspin of internally freaking out. I mean like thinking I have messed up my jeans are a little tighter today instead of looser, why are they? Am I doing something wrong? Will I ever beat this battle? One thing though that I am begining to truly understand though is that no matter who you are you cant just eat however you like and not have the side effects that a healthy lifestyle is all about choices whether you eat that cupcake or the cup of broccoli, whether you make the right or wrong choice. It is also more than a diet yo-yo. Its more than "Well, I ran an extra mile today so that pizza or cake or _______ (insert your own desire) wont count or because I ran that extra mile I deserve it" No this is not just some attempt to lose 60, 70, 80, 100, or more lbs for me this is a complete life overhaul. This is no more excuses and conquering the mind games that have kept me captive its also having the support in my life on the days that I feel fear or have a great day or so-so day that can tell me you can do it, or hey this might work, or even call me out on what I am doing. Who knows how long this initial journey will be, to get to my healthy weight, but I know that this is a lifelong journey of always making the healthy choices to choose excercise over tv, and carrots over cake, and water over soda. While it isnt always going to be easy or fun it is so worth the end results and thats more than being skinny. Some of the rewards I wont even know for a couple or so years.
I have been reading a friend of mine's blog about her journey and struggle to weight loss and a healthy lifestyle and here are a couple of blog entries that I read today that encouraged me.
I've never come this close to giving up
Easter Candy is the Spawn of Satan
1 comment:
Super proud of you Katie!!!!! I KNOW you WILL see this through! One day at a time, one decision at a time. Every time you decide to make the right choice - that's a victory!!!! That's exciting!
My tip to you is to not try on those jeans again for a few weeks! LOL! You know the woman's body, we fluctuate and bloat from day to day. LOL! Why did God do that to us? LOL! So, put the jeans back for a couple weeks, then pull them out and I have no doubt you'll be please with the results.
Proud of you and excited for your journey to a healthy & long life with Jeremy.
Hugs and Bee-lief!
Marcia
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