Today was another great day. Woke up had my shake and pills with my 32 oz of water. For lunch I got kinda in a rush was trying to get out the door to go meet my 2 older nieces at the bus stop so they wouldnt get to their house before me and I made my shake to go. Well I pulled a blonde moment, I have been putting my multivitamin in my shake and crushing it up so its one less pill to swallow at breakfast and lunch, and I threw one in my shake and was in such a rush I couldnt remember if I had or not so just to be safe because I didnt want to miss it I threw another one in. LOL, so I ended up with 2 multivitamins in one meal.
"C" called me this afternoon doing another checkup call and I asked her if it was bad if I did that with the two vitamins and she said no and was like it will just make your pee even more bright yellow. And speaking of pee, yes I know, mine has been like neon yellow the past few days. Quite interesting, never seen anything like it.
So I have definitely learned my lesson and wont go more than four hours ever again between meals. We had our womens monthly get together at our church tonight and I didnt have time to make dinner before we left which was right at my four hour mark. We didnt get home until 830 and didnt have dinner until 9 which was 7 hours between meals and it was bad. I dont think I have ever felt so hungry and my stomach hurt to the point I had almost lost all of my appetite. Note to self, dont do that again. Other than that everything here is going good. I am excited to start my couch to 5k next week and I am so proud of myself for sticking with this and getting up and making sure that I excercise every morning which is something that I havent ever done this many days on my own but it helps that I feel a little accountable to our roomie who is doing this with me. I know she is excercising to I make sure I am doing it too.
Personal reflections for today: I have been feeling a lot of fear today. Fear of failing yet again. I am so afraid that this isnt going to work and I am trying to get over it. Even right now I think about did I over do dinner which I know I didnt. I stayed right within my portions and I was fine. I think this fear comes from failing so many times before that every other attempt I have ever made has failed. I dont think I could handle failing this again. I know really at this point I can only fail myself because I am setting high expectations. I am wanting to see the same weight loss as "A" (roomie) in the first week. I think that I will feel like I failed if I dont lose as much as her or more in the first week. I know thats ridiculous because I know that at this point any weight loss is good, but I want the big numbers. I would love to lose at least 15 lbs this first week. I know thats a lot but this was a radical lifestyle change. I know that I will succeed and I know I am sticking with this until I beat this battle in my head.
2 comments:
Remember that everybody's body works differently and handles changes in different ways. If your weight loss isn't as great as hers the first week it's no big deal. I know it's hard but try not to compare. As long as you know that you are doing the right things and are truly trying it will be fine. I am so proud of you. You can do this and you will because you truly want it this time. I believe that's why we fail at things like this. We are doing them for the wrong reasons. Now you are doing it because you want to live a long, healthy life with your husband and that is a goal you won't give up on. I have faith in you, Katie.
Wilma I couldnt agree more I know that I really want this this time. All the other times it was something someone else really wanted for me (I know it was all in love) but I needed to want it for me. I know thats not why I am going to fail this time.
It wont let me post comments under my account so I am anonymous (katie)
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