November 17,2011

I almost have made it to 35 lbs. As of this morning I have lost 34.2lbs. YAY!!!! GO ME!!!!!  I am so excited. I really feel that my goal of 50lbs  this year just might happen. I know I have had up and down days but overall I am doing better than I have ever had and it really really helps having accountability in my life. One thing I have discovered is the reason behind my severe headaches I use to get. I have suffered for headaches for about 3 years that they would be so bad that I would miss work or leave work early and all that would work is sleeping. Most of the time not even Advil or Tylenol would work. But since starting herbalife and eliminating sugar and carbs I have only had 2 headaches and both of them have come the morning after not sticking to the plan. The first one was the day after our anniversary after I ate a high carb meal and wedding cake and than the second time was this week after having a sugar splurge. My body just cant handle the sugar and the carbs. I am so glad to have learned that and now I don't have to suffer from headaches any more. Next week I do my 2nd month measurements and will probably do a weigh in that day so that I can get an official 2 month weigh in. Be looking for it and I will post an updated picture as well.

Day 5

I am giving myself a pat on the back for today. I have excercised for 5 days in a row (YAY ME!) and I have also been blogging everyday this week. I did blog yesterday but the ipad did something crazy so instead of posting my blog it saved it as a draft and I was to tired to try and find it.

Today was a so-so day for me. Mostly battling things in my head. The main thing is fear, and specifically fear of failure. It started when I put my jeans back on today and they seemed a little harder to do, not really sure why havent changed anything back, but that just put me in a tailspin of internally freaking out. I mean like thinking I have messed up my jeans are a little tighter today instead of looser, why are they? Am I doing something wrong? Will I ever beat this battle? One thing though that I am begining to truly understand though is that no matter who you are you cant just eat however you like and not have the side effects that a healthy lifestyle is all about choices whether you eat that cupcake or the cup of broccoli, whether you make the right or wrong choice. It is also more than a diet yo-yo. Its more than "Well, I ran an extra mile today so that pizza or cake or _______ (insert your own desire) wont count or because I ran that extra mile I deserve it" No this is not just some attempt to lose 60, 70, 80, 100, or more lbs for me this is a complete life overhaul. This is no more excuses and conquering the mind games that have kept me captive its also having the support in my life on the days that I feel fear or have a great day or so-so day that can tell me you can do it, or hey this might work, or even call me out on what I am doing. Who knows how long this initial journey will be, to get to my healthy weight, but I know that this is a lifelong journey of always making the healthy choices to choose excercise over tv, and carrots over cake, and water over soda. While it isnt always going to be easy or fun it is so worth the end results and thats more than being skinny. Some of the rewards I wont even know for a couple or so years.

I have been reading a friend of mine's blog about her journey and struggle to weight loss and a healthy lifestyle and here are a couple of blog entries that I read today that encouraged me.

I've never come this close to giving up

Easter Candy is the Spawn of Satan

Day 1 Part 1

So I am officially started on my new journey. This morning for breakfast I am enjoying a Cafe Latte shake and a glass of raspberry tea with 32 oz of water (have to get 100 oz in the day). I also have to take a multivitamin and a cell pill (cant remember the name off the top of my head and its in the kitchen). The Cafe Latte shake I am a little disappointed was hoping it would taste a little more like coffee but it is chocolatey in flavor so its not a huge disappointment. One thing that has decided to rear its ugly head is my gag reflex with taking pills. I have never, I repeat never, like swallowing pills and I have a very sensitive gag reflux. I mean like I dont even take anything for a headach ususally because I dont like swallowing pills. Now it hasnt bothered me in ages. I thinks its been about 5 years since I have gagged with a pill and of course today this morning trying to take my cell pill I got it swallowed and of coursed gagged on it. I really hate it and I knew the minute I put it in my mouth it was going to happen so I have yet to take my multivitamin. I am trying to wait to get my mouth and stomach in line so they work together and it is not such an ordeal. Another thing I will definitely have to buy and keep on hand is lemons. I love lemon in my water and I can do that so happy because it makes drinking water so much easier for me. This part the water part will be a big challenge as I do not drink hardly anything during the day. I mean like nothing. I started paying attention and one day I realized that from when I woke up at 730 that morning I did not drink anything until like 230 that afternoon and than yesterday I woke up around 8-830 and didnt drink anything until 130. However I am doing better today. I have never been so excited about anything like this before either. I have the support of first my family (husband, roommate(yes she is family), and inlaws, I havent really told my parents yet living in two different states and different schedules sometimes makes it hard to talk) and a great health coach Claire who I can call and ask questions anytime. It also helps that my roommate is doing the samething and we are learning together. This program is also one that they really work with you and will eventually be able to help you do to even maintain the work you have done the rest of your life.

I wanted to explain my title in this blog. I have always felt like my weight has held me back from a lot of stuff in life. Things that at 25 I shouldnt have to worry about like flying (I have done it before but the last time I flew I knew I had to lose the weight as it was uncomfortable to sit in those chairs and looks I got), going to amusement parks and riding rides (theres always that fear that I wouldnt fit and I would be embarassed and have to be turned away), and also buying clothes having to spend so much more money on clothes to just fit or finding clothes that fit is sometimes really hard, not to mention the lack of energy at times and the now more frequent back pain from the constant of carrying this weight around all the time, and the more serious health risks I am at because I am overweight. So losing this weight (which is myself) that has been my constant companion in life will really be a big thing as I have never known myself as a thin healthy version of myself will really be losing the self I have known my whole life, but I will also be finding my life and everything I have missed out on because of this weight issue. That is why I am excited and That is something to be happy about.


So here are my starting measurements and starting pictures.

Measurements 9/24/2011

Upper Chest: 57 in.
Chest:            69 in
R. Arm:         17 in
L. Arm:         17 in
Waist:           68 in
Hips:             71 in
R Thigh:       28 in
L Thigh:       28 in

A New Journey

Tomorrow I start one of the biggest and best journeys in my life. Tomorrow I begin to find my life as a healthy person. For those who might follow this blog let me give you some background history. I have always struggled with my weight since I was I would say about 3 years old. I have always been heavy. For most of my life I just dealt with it and didnt ever do anything to fix it until I was 17 years old. At that point I started weight watchers. It was a great program and I dropped about 25 lbs in 6 weeks. I never felt hungry or anything, but because I was a minor I had to have a parent go with me to the meetings. Well we went on family vacation and missed 2 meetings and never went back. So back on when the 25 lbs. and probably some more. Than I graduated high school and moved in with my granny. I have the most amazing granny in the world who is also the most amazing cook in the world. So while there and eating homecooked farm meals plus being a freshman in college and eating quick things (like fast food and college cafeteria) also packed on the lbs even more. I than had to quit school and kept living with my granny but I also started working in the next closest town which was about 30 minutes away so a lot of times I would grab something for breakfast and lunch in town at a fast food joint and than eat a homecooked meal at home. Or sometimes grab all three meals depending on what I had to do at night before I would get to come home. So more weight packed on. I decided to eventually move back to Florida. I lived with a family at first and ate as sporadic and crazy as they did. I rarely had time to prepare any meals at home and a lot of times it meant that I was grabbing fast food during the day and eating late meals at night. About a year after moving back to Florida I starting dating a guy who also struggled with his weight. Together we started eating healthier we counted calories ate low fat food, ground turkey, and such; in about 3 months I had lost 30lbs. We got thrown off because of some holidays and birthdays in a short amount of time so while we still tried to eat healthy some of it went back out the window. So I stopped losing weight but didnt gain it back again yet. Then about 8 months after dating we broke up and I gained back the weight I had lost and then some more again. At this point I just had given up I had decided I was just destined to be overweight my whole life. I meet and married my husband in 2009-2010. I was at my heaviest I had ever been and was so amazed that this man could love me this way. He really has been the encouragement to lose this weight that had plagued me my whole life. I want to be around in 30-40-50 years with him and I want to be able to have uncomplicated pregnancies and not have high risk pregnancies because of my weight. My most amazing roommate started a new lifestyle change with herbal life about 2 weeks ago and she has lost about 24 lbs and 16 in. (overall not just from her waist). She has really encouraged me as well. So I will start this tomorrow with her and keep going to a healthy weight. So I will be posting pics and updates as I start this journey. I will also be posting healthy recipes.