A little discouraged...

I know 2 days in not good but it's not the change that has me discouraged. I was talking to someone that at one point in my life I was extremely close too. In fact thought we would remain close the rest of our lives. However our life plans have taken us different ways and there is nothing bad about either way she is following what God has planned for her and I am following Gods plan for me. She recently lost 170 lbs for which I was so proud of her. I know she cut a lot out of her life although not really sure what as she hasn't said. Anyways I am so excited about this and have always found her to be an amazing source of encouragement especially when I needed she just seemed to know. So I start telling her about what I am doing differently and she is like well I just lost this weight all by myself and have been maintaining it for 5 months, which I find incredible but it just felt like a slap in the face. As if the fact that I am turning to this choice of lifestyle that it is not as good as doing it solo. I know that I shouldn't feel that way but for someone so close to me for such a long time to blow off the fact that I am finally taking control of this area of my life and seeking help that I shouldn't be as proud of my decision or that it isn't as good as what she did by herself. It really was hurtful. I couldn't believe it. I know that I have a long journey ahead of me but I am willing to do it.

Another note this journey has really made me reflective. I started reading today "Craving God" it's a 21 day devotional that goes along with the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst. I haven't read made to crave but I might have to once I finish this devotional book it is really good and I am wanting to learn to depend more on God and crave Him more in my life vs food.

I am also contemplating starting the couch to 5k in 9 weeks next week to kinda up the ante with this and it will also help me with training for a run hopefully next year. I am going to take I think about 18 weeks as I am starting as very very inactive over the past year and 1/2 to running 3x a week is going to be a big difference. Hopefully with the cooler weather it will be even more enjoyable to do it.

Day 2

So after talking to "C" (health coach) last night and talking about the pill gag reflex she gave me a couple of ideas. I tried one today with putting the pills in my shake and blending them in. That seemed to work really well will have to just gag them down at dinner, since I don't get a shake for dinner. Did notice it wasnt has hard to get all the water I needed to drink in as I just kept a 32 oz gatorade bottle filled with water and tried to drink one at each meal and than drink a glass with each snack it really makes it easy to get it all in. One thing I have noticed already is that my wedding rings fit a little looser. I know it't only been one day but I think that my fingers aren't as bloated already. At least they didn't feel as tight this morning as normal mornings do. I also am dedicated to starting this out with excercise. Although it isnt much right now. I am hoping that in the next year sometime I will have lost enough weight and built up enough stamina for a 5k. This is something I have been wanting to do for the past few months and I am hoping that I can do it. So in the next few months will have to start running. That is one of my goals to accomplish with all of this is to be able to run more. I think I will enjoy running at least I did as a kid. Tonights dinner will be chilli and boy I am looking forward to that. I am glad that at least for dinner I can have some of my favorites.